'Mi harem se a large construction company’s excavator driver had a brain dead moment when he forgot to bring down the boom before taking the excavator back home after a job along the Mele Road. The brain lapse will likely cost the company around vt700,000 according to reports as it hit a high voltage unelco line frying communications along the Mele Road. Our question is who checks what errors like this actually cost UNELCO as they are a monopoly and they can basically charge what they want. Either way vy700,000 for a stupid brain lapse by a driver is an expensive SNAFU and a lot of profit down the toilet. Silip!

Mi harem se an expat lawyer who works out at the gym daily is twice the size of a court reporter who took his photo at the police station and broke the story about him facing extortion charges as part of his job. Expat lawyer then contacted Daily Post lawyers claiming that the court reporter was ’stalking’ him and his family was ‘frightened’ for their safety and security and as a result was seriously considering getting a court order banning him from coming within 500 metres of himself or a female expat facing the same charges with him. In effect preventing him from any further coverage of their court case. Trouble is as he constantly has to move his office from one place to another so often, nobody really knows where to stand 500 metres from! If he does in fact proceed with his ridiculous threat which would then become a regional freedom of press issue, he better move quick as the reporter has already left Daily Post and been replaced and is now working with VBTC owned by the government. Good luck if he tries throwing his weight around with them. We hope TV can now cover the trial as well. Slip!

Mi harem se a pastry chef who has been seen in a porn movie with young Ni Van girls has given a married man a young, fresh chocolate pastry he couldn’t refuse and as a result caused his marriage to implode with him being thrown out the house. As the wife is an attractive, vivacious woman he could find toy boys queuing up to take her out and cheer her up and this could really set the cat amongst the pigeons as you know what it is like when a pastry goes stale. Slip!

Mi harem se Kava Wine which is ‘Maid in Wanuatu’ is here. Tastes OK if you like the smell of chemicals and don’t want to taste or have the effect of kava for vt1200 and the dobber has had worsewhen tasting meth spirits 25 years ago. Of more concern is the fact that the same company is manufacturing cheap strong Nature Spirit alcohol obviously aimed at Ni Vans for vt300 to include a free glass it comes in and at 33% alcohol strength could get someone totally smashed for under vt1000. Why is the government allowing this? The Kava Wine OK at a stretch but not the alcohol hit for vt300 surely. Silip!

Mi harem se there are more and more signs in Chinese going up in town. National languis blong yumi hemi Bislama, English mo French nomo not Chinese so why are they allowed to put up Chinese signs on buildings that nobody other than Chinese understands? Someone in the Municipality needs to have the balls to put their foot down and stop this practice. This is Vanuatu, an independent sovereign country and not a Chinese colony. Get rid of the Chinese signs. Silip!

Mi harem se people along the Devils Point Rd are likely to get pure beachfront and see their property values soar overnight if plans in front of Lands by custom landowners are approved to close off the Devils Point Rd turnoff and divert the traffic down the Mele Maat road. Wonder if this has anything to do with an ex MP and influential banker’s long proposed sub division to the back and side of the old Tanna coffee premises on the Mele Maat Rd. Something needs to be done as the road and trees are all disappearing fast along that beach. Silip!

Mi harem se In a tale of Russian intelligence—or lack thereof—an amorous couple died while procreating in the back seat of their Russian-made Niva SUV situated near a beautiful lake. "Situated" rather than "parked" because the vehicle transmission was in neutral. The rocking motions of the passengers, Mr. Chernov and Ms. Kryuchkova, caused the small SUV to roll into the lake and below the waterline, whereupon the 22-year-old man and woman were drowned. Slip!

And overseas…. At 1:30AM in Rouen France, a 47-year-old man attempted to leave his room by climbing down the ethernet cable. He chose this router because his concerned mother had locked him in his room to prevent him from intoxicating himself. Being heavier than a few gigabytes, his weight was too much for the cable and he crashed to the street from the 9th story apartment. The doctors could not resuscitate him, yet wouldn't he have found another way to remove himself from the gene pool? He was the fastest reader in France. Nine stories in 2.1 seconds.

Referred to as a "distracted driver," Clifford Ray Jones, from Michigan, USA, aged 58, was driving without pants -- without seatbelt -- and with a porno flick screening on his mobile device. Add a wide-open sunroof on a cold winter Sunday, and you have a recipe for disaster. He should have kept his hands on the wheel instead of the stick. In the wee hours (at 3:40am) Clifford's Toyota went out of control on the on ramp to I-75, rolled, and crashed, ejaculating our hero through the sunroof in a spectacular climax to his life. Come and gone, Clifford will be fondly remembered by people around the world for being a silly wanker. Silip!

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