o Mi harem se a resident Italian was advised by the Italian embassy in Canberra that they had sent her voting papers by airmail to her in Port Vila via the Post Office so she could vote in the Italian elections. When they didn’t arrive in time she was naturally irritated that her voting papers were lost she was given the tracking number from Canberra and went down to the Post office to find out what happened. It should have gone to PO Box 816 but some bright spark at the Post Office said ‘No it went into PO Box 918 not PO Box 816’. It was only then that they realised someone at the Post Office had read the box number upside down! Silip!

o Mi harem se a well known, mouthy, right wing, goat loving expat was involved in a ‘pure’ road rage incident with a ni vanuatu Daily Post driver who was delivering newspapers in a DP van near the Korman roundabout and happened to go up on the pavement so he wouldn’t have to carry papers so far. He apologised to the crazy white man but it wasn’t enough. ‘Natural’ didn’t bottle it up. He spewed forth swearing and cursing at the local like a mad man. The driver was so scared he travelled immediately all the way to Mele Maat to change his pants and inform the director, who just shrugged and told him, “if you didn’t have an accident, who cares what was said.” He literally poured cold water on the incident but now is deeply concerned the driver may need psychological treatment after the verbal abuse given to him. It is a ‘zure’ thing he will respond to this so the dobber is taking ear muffs to kava. Silip!

o Mi harem se a member of the AFP went to check up on something at the police station at 1am on one night a couple of weeks ago and found not a solitary police officer present in the whole station. Nobody at the desk and nobody in any office. Anyone could have robbed the police station blind and nobody would have been there to stop them. Silip!

o Mi harem se the issue in the kava industry is worse than media reports say as there is a huge difference in what kind of kava pharmaceutical companies want and what is wanted by the beverage industry. Tudei kava is not a problem for the pharmaceutical industry who want the strongest lactones they can get but the issue is some exporters mix with leaves and branches all ground up as well.There are also many indigenous varieties of kava that are perfectly ok to drink that are not necessarily ‘noble’ varieties but not tude and no makas, leaves or branches added and mixed with the dry mix to add weight. Complaints have come in from Noumea and the USA about poor quality beverage kava and it will effect exports if govt does not clamp down quickly. Silip!

o Mi Harem Se a kavaholic chef who has had a number of vehicle accidents is reportedly in lust and is teaching his poor ni-Van girlfriend how to drive. If she ends up driving anything like her instructor, God help her! Silip!

o … and overseas in Taiwan, a man recently claimed he was under psychological torture due to his ex-wife’s hygiene habits and filed a petition for divorce. The petition was approved by local Taiwanese court. The woman, Lin, allegedly bathed just once a year and only occasionally washed her hair or brushed her teeth. According to Taipei Times, the man said that due to Lin’s unhygienic habits, they only had sex once a year, which prevented the couple from having children for a decade.The judge granted the divorce, but the ruling can still be appealed. Silip!

o What!!! Police in Mainz, Germany, responded to an apartment building after cries were heard from within one unit early on Feb. 17, The Associated Press reported. When they arrived, officers found two men, the 58-year-old tenant and a 61-year-old visitor, “hopelessly locked up” with a mannequin dressed as a knight and a large remote-controlled car. The men were too drunk to explain how they had become entangled, and one officer remarked that “the whole thing would have remained a funny episode” if the younger man had not become “more than impolite.” He now faces a charge of insulting officers. [Associated Press via The New York Times, 2/17/2018]

o In Malaysia a spiritual magician died after accidentally steaming himself to death in a stainless steel wok while with food whilst performing a ritual to ‘cleanse body and soul.’ Mr. Lim Ba, known professionally as ‘Black Dog’, had been performing human steaming for more than a decade despite family objections. The 68-year-old guru sat in lotus position in the giant stainless steel steamer and rice, sweet corn, and vegetarian buns were placed alongside to also be steamed. ‘Black Dog’ clasped his hands in prayer as the lid was lowered over him and a fire was lit under the wok. “They really lit a fire under his buns.” But after thirty minutes this steamy scenario went wrong! Devotees heard the magician knocking frantically from inside the steamer. The lid was raised and Lim was found unconscious, steam billowing around him. Suffering from major second-degree burns, the man died of a heart attack.

The incident occurred at a temple in Kuala Sanglang, a small coastal village in northern Malaysia.

o (Michigan USA) Stupidity doesn’t get worse than this. Three bikini-clad women were stranded on the banks of the Muskegon River with no food, no shelter, no clothing, when their first river tubing excursion became a “Naked and Afraid” predicament of their own making! A few hours before, while launching their new tubes at the Maple Island Bridge in Muskegon, they asked a passing stranger how to get back upstream. The stranger jokingly told them the river will make a big loop and circle around to take them straight back to the car. Using this joking advice to plan their trip, they gullible group set off downriver. As dusk approached, the women realised that the river was NOT gonna circle back. They had been duped! They beached their tubes on a remote stretch of river and began to holler for help, having neglected to bring a cell phone, either. Twenty hours after drifting away from the bridge they were saved by chance by a drift fisherman who heard the commotion and called 911. Rescued only three miles downstream of the launch point, we wonder why no one said, “Let’s walk back to the car.” What makes this situation even more ridiculous is that they were all local to the area!

o ….and a blast from the past. (1996, Texas) 45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn’t realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil. She was a blonde. Silip!

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